I almost never missed school – I loved school! Class Valedictorian. Honors student. 4.0 GPA throughout my entire education. BUT. I think I must have missed that day in school – the day they taught the golden rule of writing.

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Show. Don’t tell.

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‘Show, don’t tell’ is a technique often employed in various kinds of texts to enable the reader to experience the story through action, words, thoughts, senses, and feelings rather than through the author’s exposition, summarization, and description.*

In simplest terms it means exactly what you might think: show me what you want me to see (or feel) rather than telling me. For example, an author can plainly state, “It was dark and I was afraid,” or they could put it this way, “As I sat frozen in blackness, where no form or shadow could be seen, all I could feel was the pounding of my heart against my knee.” The former tells the reader they were afraid while the latter shows the reader they were afraid. The first example delivers information but the second evokes feeling.

I had to learn this golden rule the hard way, about a year ago, when I first met with an editor and writing coach to review a manuscript proposal for a nonfiction book I’m writing. I was surprised to discover that even in nonfiction writing this technique of ‘showing, not telling’ is absolutely essential (well, if you want people to actually read your book, enjoy it, and walk away inspired by it). She explained that human nature resists being told what to do and how to live. But a good author – like a good artist – inspires people to see or feel things they’ve not seen or felt before.

I was disappointed to hear that thousands of words and hundreds of hours had been wasted – or at least that’s what I thought at the time. I questioned whether God had really called me to write a book. The craft of writing in a show-versus-tell way seemed much too difficult for me. The pages of that manuscript laid dormant for months while the Lord taught me about this golden rule of writing.

I intended to file all of my new insights under an imaginary ‘Writing’ tab in my mind. But something happened. Those insights leaked into my ‘Parenting’ files, ‘Relationship’ files, ‘Evangelism & Ministry’ files… yip, the ink of this Golden Rule of Writing bled onto all of the other pages of my mind…

PARENTING
How differently would parenting look if I approached it with an overarching desire to show my kids how to behave versus telling them? What if I purposed to show my children that a life with God is full of joy, contentment, and adventure rather than simply telling them that it is? What if rules weren’t just taught but also shown to be beneficial? Am I living out my faith in front of my kids in a way that shows them the gospel of Jesus Christ? Or, am I arousing a spirit of rebellion in my children through a hypocritical lifestyle that tells them “Do as I say, not as I do”?

Eeeks… it’s much more difficult to parent this way! But, as in writing, if we actually want to inspire change then it’s going to take intentional effort to lead others where we want them to go rather than just telling them where they should be.

RELATIONSHIPS
Whether it be in marriage, friendship, or family relationships, how might our relationships be strengthened through making the effort to show love versus simply telling people that we love them? Consider these lyrics from the popular song “More Than Words”:

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It’s not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn’t have to say that you love me
‘Cause I’d already know
-Extreme

‘Nuff said.

EVANGELISM & MINISTRY
Many years ago I saw a display of evangelism that was, well… disturbing, for lack of a better word. A woman sat smoking her cigarette just outside the doors of the shopping mall. I was nearby holding the door for some people when I heard a woman say to this smoker condescendingly, “You know, Jesus loves you. You shouldn’t be doing that to your body.” The smoker’s response was pretty much what I’d expect it to be… **** you. I was embarrassed to say the least. What reeked worse, I couldn’t tell – the smoke from the sinner or the piousness from the saint? In that moment I’d rather have sat with the sinner than to be associated with the saint.

Granted, truth was told. Jesus does love that woman and, no, she shouldn’t destroy her body through smoking. But simply telling this woman the truth did nothing to show her the love of Christ or compel her to quit smoking.

In the previous blog post, Kindness That Interrupts, we saw how God leads people to repentance through grace, kindness, and patience. His kindness interrupts our destructive ways of living, but not merely to tell us how off the mark we are! Rather, He steps into our mess, takes us by the hand, and shows us a better way!

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Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions.
 1 John 3:18

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I may not have learned the Golden Rule of Writing in middle school language arts class, but sometimes lessons are better learned the hard way! The wisdom offered by my editor last year on that chilly winter afternoon continues to inspire and challenge my writing, “The difference between good writers and great writers is their ability to show versus tell.” But I am even more challenged to consider that perhaps the difference between good ministry and great ministry is found in one’s ability to show the love of Christ versus tell about it.

*Show, don’t tell – Wikipedia

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*This post originally appeared at beautifullymessedup.com
Author: Niki Schemanski