There’s a lot of talk about love in our world today… What is love? Who defines it? What are socially acceptable and legally appropriate ways to affirm it? Etc. Etc.
And there’s a lot of talk about love within the Christian church… How do we show God’s love? How do we personally experience God’s love? What does Biblical love look like in marriage, parenting, family relationships, friendships, and towards our enemies? Good stuff to talk about, right?
I have been personally studying Biblical love for almost a decade now. Well, actually, it’s been more like begging than studying… begging God to do the impossible in my heart. When I first began searching the scriptures to learn about love, I had no idea I’d still be drenching myself in the same topic years and years later. I thought I was on a one-year plan to becoming a perfect, loving Christian so I could move on to other, ‘more important things’! Turns out, one layer peeled off this ‘ol onion – namely, my heart – simply exposes another and another. I’m beginning to think that once all these layers are peeled back and my heart is finally transformed then Jesus will call me home and my time on earth will be done – Dang! – if so, then nobody will get to see the nice, wonderful, perfectly loving me and I will never move on to more important things 😉
All joking aside, I really do enjoy examining scripture to better understand Biblical love (even though it continues to expose my lack). But LOVE is such an allusive, intangible, broad, and massive topic that I can sometimes get discouraged simply because I can’t seem to wrap my head around all that it encompasses. And that’s what brings me to the point of this blog post.
Kindness.
For the last couple months I’ve been looking at love through the lens of kindness. It’s like eating a fun-size Snickers – it’s got all the complexity of the full-size candy bar but in a bit-size chunk that’s more easily digestible!
Love is… kind. -1 Corinthians 13:4
If love is kind then what does kindness look like?
I recently read a book by Dr. Dan Allendar*. One of the chapters was about kindness and it led me to consider the power that kindness has to interrupt negative behaviors. We all have certain patterns of relating and mantras we subconsciously rehearse to ourselves, some of which are very destructive. But kindness, believe it or not, has the power to interrupt those destructive behaviors and paves the way for new behaviors to form.
I couldn’t help but think of several examples in scripture where the kindness of God was shown to an undeserving individual and it set into motion a completely new way of living…
Jesus’s kindness towards an adulterous woman. (John 8:4-12)
Jesus’s kindness towards a cowardly disciple named Peter. (John 21:15-25)
Jesus’s kindness towards His mocking, unbelieving half-brother, James. (1 Corinthians 15:7)
Jesus’s kindness towards a religious murderer named Saul. (Acts 9:4-15)
And, on a more personal note, Jesus’s kindness towards me – a sixteen year old girl who’d renounced her faith and made an absolute mess of her life…
The kindness of God is undeserved and unearned. And once we’ve tasted it we are undone.
Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that his kindness is intended to turn you from your sin? Romans 2:4 (emphasis mine)
The kindness of God leads us to repentance! His kindness – not His wrath – not His criticisms – not His threats or punishments – but His kindness is what leads us out of sin.
The woman caught in adultery deserved to die that day (according to her culture’s law) but instead the kindness of God led her to repentance, saying, “Neither do I condemn you, now go and sin no more.”
Peter deserved a strong rebuke, a glaring ‘I told you so’ look in the eyes. But Jesus, in His resurrected body, didn’t go back to Peter with a grudge but instead a commission. And the kindness of God transformed this coward into a man of courage.
James, the half-brother of Jesus, had been quite clear about his opinion of his brother – “He’s out of his mind.” (Mark 3:21) So, why in the world would Jesus take the time to return to James and show him His resurrected body? Because God, in His kindness, had a plan for this unbelieving family member, and as a result James went from being a unbeliever to “A servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ.” (James 1:1)
Saul was just plain scary – a religious fanatic on steroids. God could have struck him dead any time, but He didn’t. Instead, God struck him blind and then gave Saul eyes to see the truth. Oh what grace! Once a murderer, now a missionary… all because of the kindness of God.
Granted, we’re not God. Even our best acts of kindness will not have the same power that God has to change a person’s heart and mind. Even so, I am challenged to consider the difference I might make in a person’s life simply through interrupting their negative cycles and destructive behaviors with undeserved kindness.
Kindness doesn’t mean winking at sin. Kindness doesn’t mean approving of evil. But kindness, as God demonstrates it, is patient and forbearing. It is self-sacrificing. The Savior literally stepped into our darkness in order to lead us out.
- Kindness offers grace rather than condemnation.
- Kindness focuses on encouraging rather than criticizing.
- Kindness seeks to draw near instead of turning away.
We all have people in our lives whom we feel don’t deserve our kindness. Those are probably the ones who need it most.
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!
Romans 5:8
… while we were still sinners… God showed kindness to us.
Father God and Author of love,
By your grace, please enable us to extend to others even a small portion of the great kindness you’ve shown to us.
Help us not to simply be recipients of your love and patience,
but also to be extensions of it towards others.
In Jesus name,
Amen.
*Dan Allendar, Healing The Wounded Heart (Baker Books, 2016), 143-153
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*This post originally appeared at beautifullymessedup.com
Author: Niki Schemanski