You know it’s coming right.. 

 “The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!” 

Aren’t you excited?! 

I mean who doesn’t love hours upon hours of cooking and baking for holiday parties and festive gatherings, and then soaking their hands in dishwater all evening long while cleaning up afterwards? I know every mom is anxious to put those little ones to bed so she can stay up into the wee hours of the night wrapping presents and curling ribbon! This time of year Dad’s are just itching to haul up those boxes from the basement so they can start stringing Christmas lights and garland. Oh, and wait, I almost forgot the best part… those delightful trips to the post office where you joyfully meet new people and exchange life stories while standing in line! This, all on top of the pure joy we feel as we spend hundreds of dollars on friends and family who, like us, are most likely included in the top 1% of the richest people in the world. It truly is the most wonderful time of the year!

…yes, your right, that IS sarcasm that your picking up on. And indeed your discernment does not lead you astray, a bit of cynicism is there as well.

Now before you label me Mrs. Scrooge and move onto something more uplifting, give me a moment to explain 🙂 I promise I’m really not the Grinch who stole Christmas…

It’s just that every year I go through this same tug-a-war. It’s starts its gentle tug about the second week in November, and by December 24th I’m yanking on my side of the rope with every last bit of strength. The problem is I never know for sure who won the war.

Did people like their gifts?
Did the children understand the true meaning of Christmas?
Did I spread enough holiday cheer?
Was our house decorated enough to seem fun and festive?
Did anyone actually read our Christmas letter?

These things wouldn’t matter so much to me except that hours upon hours goes into buying and packaging gifts, decorating the house, baking treats to give to people, hosting parties, and sending out Christmas letters. These are hours on top of other hours spent on homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, and being involved in ministry. So my natural question when all is said and done is, was it worth it?

We all have 24 hours in one day. 

So we all have to choose how and where to spend our time. Time is a precious gift and I don’t want to waste it doing things that don’t seem to have at least some eternal value. So my internal tug-a-war isn’t so much about Christian versus cultural expressions and celebrations during the holidays. It’s really more of a personal list of desires for the holiday season and how it often conflicts with cultural (and even Christian) expectations.

My Desired Holiday To-Do List

This.

Typical Moms Holiday To-Do List: 

• Clean house, cook, host, and cleanup for Thanksgiving.
• Spend three days putting up the Christmas tree and decorating the house.
• Make 4 dozen cookies for the Ladies Cookie Exchange at church (seriously don’t understand these, who needs 4 dozen cookies to take home?)
• Make 6 dozen cookies along with 12 colors of frosting for cookie decorating party
• Clean house, cook, and cleanup afterwards for cookie decorating party.
• Make 3 dozen cookies for children to take to school for their Christmas party.
• Help children practice their lines and singing for the Christmas musical.
• Attend choir practice once a week for Christmas production at church.
•  Take children shopping to buy gifts for their friends at school.
• Go shopping to buy gifts for five gift exchange parties.
• Attend husband’s company party.
• Go shopping for new dress for husband’s company party.
• Go shopping for family gifts.
• Go shopping for extended family gifts.
• Wrap gifts, ship gifts, wrap gifts, ship gifts.
• Take family photo for Christmas cards.
• Buy Christmas cards.
• Write Christmas letter.
• Stuff envelopes and mail cards.
• Wrap gifts.
• Clean house, cook, and cleanup afterwards for holiday gathering of friends.
• Go shopping for new Christmas dresses and suits for the children.
• Take care of sick child who got the flu.
• Wrap gifts.
• Sew sheep and angel costumes for the children’s Christmas musical.
• Make “Happy Birthday Jesus” cake to enforce the real meaning of Christmas
• Attend Christmas Eve Candlelight service.
• Wrap last few gifts and put under tree.
• Cook Christmas dinner.
• Read the Christmas story from the gospel of Luke then open presents (this really brings the true message of Christmas to the forefront).
• Clean up after Christmas.
• Find places to put children’s new toys.
  • Spend two days taking down Christmas decorations.

    

So my tug-a-war each year is between these two lists, and I’m sure yours is too.

I find that for me, just the sheer volume of to-do’s related to the holidays steals some of my ability to enjoy the activities I really want to be doing like sledding, playing games, or doing crafts. In the back of my mind I’m reeling through the long list of tasks that must be completed by December 25th.

And in the midst of the many many hours that are spent focusing on gifts, parties, and decorations I wonder if the little eyes watching us also feel a dichotomy between what their parents say is the true meaning of Christmas and what they actually see them put their time into.

Christmas is indeed a magical time, especially for little people. So, the answer isn’t to throw out all things frivolous and focus only on the spiritual, but I do think some serious evaluation and focused conversation would do us all some good as we head into the holiday season.
 

What truly matters to your family?
What values do you hold highest?
How do your activities at Thanksgiving and Christmas help support those values?

Do you have any traditions that are in conflict with those values that you might need to let go of?

Do you personally see a dichotomy between what you say and what you do during the holiday season?

Do you find yourself irritable, frustrated, and unloving to your immediate family members due to pressure and stress at this time?
If so, what are some activities you could cross off your list in order to relieve some of that strain?

Do you find yourself compromising quality time with your spouse and children for the sake of accommodating other peoples expectations and desires for the holidays?

These are just a handful of good questions we could ask ourselves and talk about with our spouse. If we’re not intentional about where to spend our time then we’ll easily spend it in ways that don’t actually emphasize the family’s values and desires. We have to learn to say no to some good things for the sake of doing great things…especially during the holidays.

I don’t know what that will look like for you. I know for me, I highly value quality time with my husband and daughters and desire that the gospel of Jesus not be hindered by my bad attitude and stressed-out demeanor. So, for me, that might mean less time spent shopping and more time crafting together to make gifts… which also supports other values I hold. And, while I love hosting parties and gathering friends together it might have to be more in a potluck style and in less-than perfect cleanliness so that my little helpers don’t grow up resenting or avoiding the gift of hospitality. I still struggle to know what to do about gift-giving, but I do know that for some this is a strong love language and to minimize it is ignorant and selfish. So, I think my desire this year is to try and approach it with the right heart attitude found in 2 Corinthians 9:7:

“Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not
reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.“

I think the battle over Christmas is won in the day-to-day interactions between us and our children. We can’t live as irritable, snappy, hurried, and exhausted moms for thirty days straight and then slap Luke chapter 2 and a Happy Birthday Jesus cake onto Christmas morning and call it good. Children are perceptive and our actions speak much louder than our words. 

Tonight I sat down with our girls and asked them to tell me what things matter most to them during Thanksgiving and Christmas and what activities they especially enjoy during this time. It was interesting that opening presents did not make the list. I was delighted by their list (which included sledding, baking cookies, having a Happy Birthday Jesus party, making crafts, and being in a Christmas play). I am determined to do everything on their list and to have fun doing it! So, that will mean saying no to some of the other things that will vi for my time, and that’s okay… 24 hours goes by fast, 30 days goes by faster, and 18 years will be gone before we know it.

With that I will close this blog entry with a prayer, especially for us moms, as we approach…

 The Most Wonderful Time of The Year.
 

Father of lights,
Thank you for sending Your Son to be the Light of the World.
You tell us that if we are in Christ we have the light of the world living inside of us and that we are to let our light shine like a city on a hill.
By your grace help us to see the ways we need to simplify our lists this year for the sake of doing whatever we do with true joy and cheerfulness of heart.
Help us to examine our hearts and say yes to activities that support our family’s values, and to have the confidence and courage to say no to the invitations, activities, pressures, and even traditions that really don’t mean much in the end.
Clothe us in humility and gentleness even as we juggle the extras that do come with this particular season. Pour your love into our hearts and enable us to extend that love first to our own household then to others.
Let everything we do, whether wrapping gifts or baking cookies or serving in a soup kitchen, be done in love as unto you Oh Lord.
In the power of Jesus’ name we pray these things. Amen.