“Hoping against hope”: To have hope even when the situation appears to be hopeless.
A mother of a four-year-old is diagnosed with stage-4 cancer and told she only has a couple years to live. Not much hope.
A marriage suffocates in the grip of addiction and adultery. Not much hope.
A little girl is raised in the slums and sold into the sex trade at thirteen. Not much hope.
Miscarriage after miscarriage, fertility treatment after fertility treatment, and still no baby. Not much hope.
But God…
He believed, hoping against hope, so that he became the father of many nations according to what had been spoken…” Romans 4:18 HCSB
Abram was given a promise that he would become the father of many nations. God gave Abram this promise when he was 75 years old – and childless. Not a hopeful scenario. Logic would say that if Abram and Sarai hadn’t been able to conceive by this stage of life then it just wasn’t meant to be. Sarai found the whole setup quite absurd and couldn’t help but laugh when she heard God speak the promise to Abram. But, after a little humor and acknowledgement of all the impossibilities, Abram and Sarai chose to believe God. Twenty-five years – 25 YEARS! – they waited to hold in their hands the fulfillment of a promise long held in their hearts.
God’s timing is rarely our timing, but His is perfect. Never early. Never late. We like to say this – when things are good – or when it’s someone else’s waiting game! It’s much harder when the struggle is our own and we’re deep in it, with doubts creeping in. None of us are beyond the temptation to take matters into our own hands, like Abram and Sarai did in conceiving Ishmael (see Genesis 16). When the wait becomes long, it’s easy to question the promises of God. It’s easy to look for other ways to achieve the same end. It’s easy to doubt His goodness. It’s easy to become discouraged, even despairing.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
I’m going to get personal here. My husband and I have been trying to conceive another baby for about a year and a half. After far too many wasted pregnancy tests, and being fairly confident that we DO know where babies come from, we decided to get a fertility test done. Negative. Not the kind of negative you want, like with cancer… but the kind that means ‘ain’t gonna happen’.
Unless God…
Now – just to be clear – the promises of God in the Bible are to be handled differently than a promise we may believe God has spoken to us personally. And a promise is different than a desire which is different than a need. Throughout scripture we are given instruction on how to pray accordingly. So when I share of my husband and I’s desire for another baby, in no way am I claiming a promise from God or presenting it as a need. It is simply a desire.
This is a difficult post to write. Difficult because my desire for another baby doesn’t feel worthy of being compared to the desire of the couple who simply wants their first baby. Difficult because the miracle we need in order to conceive seems trivial in comparison to the miracle the cancer mom needs in order to survive. Difficult because I realize that my circumstances are a thousand times better than those who are enslaved, addicted, impoverished, or stuck in abusive relationships. Why would God care about my desires when there are obviously bigger problems and far more crucial needs to deal with?!
Because God…
God is a father – not just any father. He’s the one and only Perfect Father. If you’re a parent then you know that each of your kids has different needs, wants, and desires that coincide with their age, interests, and gender. In the same way, I am reminded that God doesn’t compare His children’s prayers and scold them for desiring one thing when someone else’s situation creates a different set of petitions. I struggle to remember this at times. Maybe you do to. It feels right to pray for God to meet the needs of others or perform miracles in the lives of those whose situations seem much more dire than our own. But it feels selfish to ask God for something I want but don’t need. I don’t need another baby… I just really want one.
Learning to express our desires to God without crossing into ‘name it and claim it’ theology is a mature step in our relationship with Christ. We do well to recognize that every good and perfect gift comes from above (James 1:17). We are wise to heed the instruction of King David who wrote, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). And if we can truly understand the heart of this Father, then without fear we should ask Him to provide – and trust that when we ask for bread He will not give us a stone (Matthew 7:9). Or if we ask for a fish, He will not give us a snake instead (Luke 11:11). In other words, our Father knows what we need and He will not give us something cruelly empty (a rock) or harmful (a snake) to teach us a lesson about asking for things.
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11 ESV
God is not a vending machine with buttons we push to receive what we want. Nor is He our personal genie in a bottle offering us three wishes. But He is a good, good father – One who delights to give good things to those who ask Him…
My husband and I don’t have much reason to believe that we will be able to conceive another child, physically speaking. But, we also don’t feel certain that this is God’s divine “you’re done” – not yet anyways. Something compels us to keep hoping against hope and believing God for the miracle. And so we ask… by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, we present our request to God.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6 NLT
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Niki Schemanski is a wife and homeschooling mother of three children. A love of singing led her into an early career of performing and public speaking throughout Alaska and in various parts of the nation beginning at eight years old. After college, she spent more than a decade on staff as Worship Pastor at New Life Assembly of God in Kenai, Alaska. Niki’s desire is to help others “taste and see that the Lord is good” and that passion is what fuels her writing, singing, and teaching. She and her family now reside in Durango, Colorado.