**Note: This is the 3rd post in a series titled “A Plan To Fail”.
Part 1 discussed the potential failures that exist at both ends of the ‘planning spectrum’.
Click on the link to read: A Plan To Fail – Part 1
Part 2 was a rally cry to inspire more people to risk failure.
(I liken it to Mel Gibson’s Braveheart speech, but instead of yelling, “Freedom!”, imagine me yelling “Failure!”… truly inspiring, really…)
Read Part 2 by clicking on this link: A Plan To Fail – Part 2

And without further adieu – Part 3: When Plans Fail.

Ty and I found out we were expecting our first baby just a few months after our fifth wedding anniversary. We had purposed to wait five years before having children because we had big plans for those early years of marriage – everything from jobs to ministry, building houses and traveling abroad! And, thus far, all of those plans had come together quite well, better than we deserved actually.
And now, just liked we’d planned – a baby was on the way!… it was all so perfect.
Then, three months into pregnancy, we discovered that our baby had stopped growing and died in the womb.
We had seen her little heart beating at eight weeks, but something happened after that and she stopped developing.
This was not part of our plan.

For the first time in our marriage, something major didn’t go as planned.
I had failed to be a good mom, even before I had the chance to hold my baby.
I lived with this deep sense of failure for a long time. So much so, that I believed maybe this was God’s way of letting me know that I was unfit to be a mother.
I concluded that if I were to have children of my own I would simply repeat the abusive cycles that had plagued my family for generations.
So, I did away with my plans to have children, for fear of failing at it.

But God…

Twelve years and three children later, I can hardly form words to express my gratitude to the Lord.
He didn’t allow me to remain captive to the lie that I was an unfit mother.
He called me to face that fear head on.
To be honest, the awareness of how quickly I can fail at parenting still exists in a very real way, but I am not a slave to believing that parental-failure is my destiny.
No, instead I choose to believe that in Christ all things are possible.

This is only one of many examples I could tell of my failures and the lies I’ve believed as a result.

But God.

This is the stamp over every one of my failures. Failure is not the conclusion to any of my stories.
Failure is never the end of our story where Christ, the Redeemer, is involved.

Oh, it’s sad but true,…
people will say things that make us feel like failures.
People will tell us we’re destined to fail.
People will give up on us.
And, honestly, you and I will at one time or another be the very people I’m talking about here.
People will hurt us and we will hurt others.
That’s reality.

But God.

God does not pronounce ‘failure’ over you and I.
God does not conclude ‘failure’ as our destiny.
God does not give up on His people.

Chasten us? Sure. Discipline us? Yes. Refine us? Absolutely.
Rest assured that His love is bigger than our delusions of happiness, success, or popularity.
So, in the short-term He may allow us to experience failure, for the greater purpose of weaving some long-term truth into the fabric of our souls.
This loving Father will do what needs to be done to shape His children into His likeness.
But, regardless of how many times we fail, fall short, flub up, or flip out – ‘failure’ is NOT the banner over our lives.

“If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is.”
2 Timothy 2:13

FAITHFULNESS.
This is the banner over the life of every believer in Christ.
God’s faithfulness to finish the good work He has begun.

Oh how I have tasted the sovereign and gracious ‘But God’ over some of my failures…
and I hunger for more of that freedom.
I’ve indeed experienced His faithfulness in leading me through some uncharted waters, where I was sure to drown – but didn’t…
and I want more of that fearlessness.
Thankfully, I’ve heard the Savior’s ‘it-is-finished’ over some of the lies I’ve believed in my life…
and I desperately need more of that truth.

Plain and simple, I want more faith –  maybe you do too!
I don’t want more failure.
Nuh uh.
More faith, more testimonies, more healing, more victory!
That’s what we want, right?!

Ah, but what if?…

I recently listened to a sermon by Craig Groeschel, pastor of the largest church in the United States, and he said,
“I hear coaches and certain leaders motivate their team by commanding, ‘Failure is NOT an option!’
… and they’re right.
Failure is not optional.
We must fail. It’s how we learn.”

I love that.

Consider with me this thought by best-selling author, John Ortberg,
who explains that venture capitalists in Silicon Valley know there’s one rule when it comes to investing in ideas and businesses:
Never invest in someone who hasn’t failed at something.
The logic behind this rule is that only through experiencing failure does a person gain the necessary tools to succeed.

Wow.
I can’t help but wonder what might happen in my own life if failure was no longer a fear, but rather a welcomed opportunity for growth?
Where would I go? What would I do?… If I wasn’t afraid of failing.

Or, the more important questions…

How would I love differently?
… if I weren’t afraid of being misjudged, mistreated, or rejected.

How might I give more generously?
… if I weren’t afraid of being taken advantage of, losing out on something, or failing to keep up with the Jones’s.

How might I communicate more graciously?
… if I weren’t afraid of losing my pride, being wrong, or losing the upper hand?

How might I embrace each day more joyously?
… if I knew – I mean really knew – who I was in Christ, and how that identity frees me to embrace failure rather than fear it.

The truth is, fear of failure will keep you and I from ever becoming the kind of people God has called us to be.

 

What about you?
What are your fears? Failures? Lies you’ve believed?
Where do you need ‘But God’ to be written on your heart?
I invite you to leave a comment and share those, and I commit to pray for you.

Or, do you have a testimony of God’s faithfulness – a ‘But God’ story to share?
I would LOVE to hear how the Lord has demonstrated His faithfulness to you personally, so please – do share!

“But God,
being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us,
even when we were dead in our trespasses,
made us alive together with Christ…”

Ephesians 2:4,5