Oh this blessed thorn –
That which pierces my flesh and mars my frame.
What great pain,
This blessed thorn,
To which becomes my name.
But I am not this thorn –
That which taunts, shames, and is to me a tease.
‘Tis instead a gift –
A tool of the Sovereign –
That brings me to my knees.
-Niki Schemanski
Oh this blessed thorn. Do you know what I’m talking about?
Do you have a thorn in your flesh? A weakness that plagues your health and zaps your strength…? A label that begs for your identity…? An experience that haunts your nights and kidnaps your days…? A fear of drowning in the deep that causes you to remain in the shallow…? A form of silent suffering, if you will…?
It likely goes without saying that I have a thorn in my flesh… maybe more than one, who knows. And, just to be clear, this is not some code-speak for ‘habitual sin’. Will I share about my specific thorn? Maybe… if you take me out for coffee 😉 I’m not afraid to speak about my personal thorn, but I will use discretion here on the world wide web – or at least leverage it for a latte!
The thing is, it doesn’t really matter what my thorn, or your thorn, or anyone else’s thorn is. Regardless of what form it takes or how long it’s been tormenting us it’s purpose is the same, and that’s what I want to focus on.
The Apostle Paul understood what it meant to have ‘a thorn in the flesh’. After all, he coined the phrase:
So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:7-9a
I love that even Paul chose to remain vague and not identify his specific thorn. He leaves it open to interpretation because the point isn’t the thorn itself.
This blog post has been stirring in my spirit for weeks. and I’ve been avoiding it… for weeks. In part because I don’t want to acknowledge what Paul came to acknowledge – that my own thorn might be here to stay. My husband and I have been fasting and praying for two months, begging, as Paul did, for the Lord to remove this thorn from my flesh. Our time of fasting is over today and I wish this blog post were different. I wish it were titled Thorn Removal in 60 Days!
But no. The truth is I’m not where I had hoped to be at the close of this fast. The thorn remains. Is God impotent or ignorant of my pleading for deliverance? Not at all. He’s no more ignorant towards me than He was towards Paul when He replied, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” Well then, what else is there to say to such a Holy reply except, “Ok. Then give me more of You, Lord. More of Your grace in my weakness.”
To be honest, I’d rather have this painful thorn divinely removed and be completely healed than to continue gimping my way through life in His ‘all sufficient grace’. As nice as the whole ‘strength is made perfect in weakness’ thing sounds, who wouldn’t rather live in “strength is made perfect in more strength!”? I mean really.
But, alas God is God and His ways are higher. So, for as long as He sees fit to leave this thorn in my flesh then I want to learn to bless it. Yes, BLESS it.
I bless this thorn because it keeps me from becoming proud.
The Lord opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Genuine humility that both admits weakness and offers strength while considering others above themselves can only be sewn into a person’s spirit by The Spirit. Our thorn – our disease – our form of suffering – whatever it may be – is a purposefully designed tool of the Almighty to produce Christ-like humility in us. Once we’re able to see our thorn as this divine tool then (and sometimes only then) can we can begin to bless it.
I bless this thorn because it proves to me that Christ is enough.
Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who was imprisoned for rescuing many Jews during the Nazi Holocaust, is often quoted for saying, “You may never know that Jesus is all you need, until Jesus is all you have.” I love that. We will likely never experience the kind of suffering she experienced in that horrific age of history, but to whatever degree the Lord does allow suffering in our lives may it only serve to deepen our satisfaction in Jesus Christ.
I bless this thorn because it keeps me on my knees.
The chorus of the song “Touch The Sky” by Hillsong United beautifully expresses the paradox of strength in weakness:
My heart beating, my soul breathing
I found my life when I laid it down
Upward falling, spirit soaring
I touch the sky when my knees hit the ground
Oddly enough the vibrancy and vitality of our faith isn’t found in victory chants, healings, and miracles. Don’t get me wrong, those are WONDERFUL experiences! But if this thorn in my flesh is what keeps me consistently on my knees then I am blessed because of it! Truly it is as much a gift of grace as deliverance itself.
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
2 Corinthians 12:9b
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*This post originally appeared at beautifullymessedup.com
Author: Niki Schemanski