It’s Not Fair

“No fair…” 
they whine.

“That’s NOT fair.” 
They declare.

“IT’S NOT FAIR!”
They exclaim with gritted teeth stomping down the hall.
Fairness. 
What is with THAT word?
You don’t have to teach a child to ASSUME things should be fair. You don’t have to point out examples of unfairness to them ~ they come ready and aimed to shoot them at US!
It’s woven into the fabric of human nature to desire everything to be fair…equal…properly portioned. Work and displeasure should be equally suffered. Delight and pleasure should be equally shared.
So we think.
Whether we’re 5, 15, or 50 we desire fairness on some level and feel a twinge of discontentment, envy, or self-pity when it seems that things aren’t fair according to our standards. This is because we’re all selfish and until the sanctifying power of the Holy Spirit has completed it’s work in us we will continue to flesh out “what is earthly within us”.
This week my heart has been heavy, as are many of yours, over the 21 Egyptian men beheaded for their faith in Christ this last weekend.
I can’t seem to shake it off (nor should I for that matter). It’s been a little challenging trying to wrestle with my inner emotions while still embracing that life within my own four walls has to continue operating and mommy still needs to be mommy. 
In addition, we’ve been preparing all week to speak at a family retreat about the joy we have in Jesus and how we can cultivate that in our families. So the reality of Christian martyrdom weighs heavy on my heart as I try to rightly articulate joy in Jesus along with suffering for His name’s sake.

For me, awareness of these sufferings sinks into my heart and breeds fear, doubt, and despondency. I can’t help but say again and again,
“It’s not fair.”
Why should I have gotten to enjoy Valentine’s day with my husband while the wives of those 21 men suddenly became widows?
 It wasn’t fair.
On Monday a family in our church awakened at 1am to their barn burning right before their eyes.

Why should I have been sleeping safely while they watched part of their livelihood go up in flames?
It wasn’t fair.
Friends have been trying everything to get pregnant for years now.

Why should we get the blessing of a “reversal baby” while they suffer the ache of an empty womb.

It’s just not fair.
2.6 million children DIE each year from hunger.
  Why should I get to eat THREE meals a day while they go without ANY?
…not fair.
Fairness is an interesting compulsion that can either cause a person to fight for what they believe is rightfully theirs, or it can lead a person to their knees in gratefulness for what they know shouldn’t be theirs.
You see, fairness isn’t a Biblical concept.
As much as we’d like to make it one to appease our humanness, you won’t find much evidence for fairness in God’s word.
Holiness, yes.
Goodness, yes.
Justice, yes.
Fairness, no.
There’s an interesting moment in the Gospel of John where Jesus explains to the Apostle Peter that in the years to come Peter would die a martyr’s death. Human nature is captured so well right here because instead of surrendering to the words of Jesus, Peter immediately looks over and sees the Apostle John standing there and asks Jesus, “What about him?”

Jesus’s response:
“If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you?
As for you, follow me.”

In light of the suffering of others, I find in me two strong urges. One is to self-protect and avoid all suffering because I fear its pain and grief. The other is to manufacture some form of suffering in order to empathize more deeply because it feels too luxurious to enjoy the life I have while others suffer so much.


Neither of these are Godly responses.
So I look back to those words of Jesus to Peter and try to make them my own.
“If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”
Follow me.
That’s the command.
That’s the antidote for the trap of fairness.

It wasn’t fair that Jesus was crucified for MY sin.

It isn’t fair that I should receive grace instead of a curse.
It isn’t fair that I should gain life instead of death.

Life isn’t fair. The gospel isn’t fair.
But it is ALWAYS worth it to follow Him.
So, as we follow Jesus, we need to remember those precious words of Job:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
    and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
    may the name of the Lord be praised.”
 (Job 1:21)

Today, may we remember to pray for the families of those whose decision to follow Christ has cost them their earthly lives.

3 thoughts on “It’s Not Fair

  1. Absolutely amazing post Niki. <3

  2. Such heavy thoughts…and heavy words. I've always loved Jesus' response to Peter, too, because each of us is called to walk very different walks in following Him. Very beautifully written.

  3. Rebecca

    Wow! Auntie that's crazy good!

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